It's honeydew week for us!

I've spent this entire pregnancy completely addicted to BabyCenter and their fruits-and-veggies approach to baby development -- this week your baby is as big as a lentil bean, this week he's a banana, etc. And I totally remember getting pissed off around month four because of a major WTF with the food sizes -- weeks 12, 13, and 14 were compared to a lime, shrimp, and lemon, respectively. Where, exactly do you find a shrimp that's bigger than a lime? I'd like to live in that world. So I cracked up today when Chrissy D emailed to complain 'cause she's at week 14 and feels like a lime and a lemon are too similar in size.
Anyway, no point to that story. It just reminded me of a fun moment along the way. But we're already up to honeydew melon week, which is crazy! Good thing we put the crib together last night. I'll post pics once we put the finishing touches on. Also super-overdue for shower pics! Aggghhhhh I'm terrible at blogging.

Birth class...

...this past Saturday. Things I learned:

1) Waiting room chairs are even less comfortable after eight hours.
2) Olive Garden portabella ravioli is delicious. Especially when it's free.
3) Shaving standards? Much different when that video was filmed.
4) Hospital located between a Wawa and a Dunkin Donuts. (Advantage: Wawa.)
5) My hospital room might have a jacuzzi! But I still don't think I'm going to pack G's board shorts.

We pack and deliver like UPS trucks.

Good timing on ordering the ebay bag, because according to my weekly BabyCenter update, I should be packing my hospital bag right around...yesterday. But I'm not sure I agree with their packing list. A few of their recommendations I plan to ignore:
1) Light reading. I'm sorry, is this a cruise?
2) Massage oils. I doubt there will be ANY point during labor where I think, "This would be better if I were greasier."
3) Talismans. Really? Talismans?
4) Baby nail clippers. Still phobic about this -- I'll just bring mittens.
5) A bathing suit for my "labor coach" in case he wants to "jump in the shower" with me. Nothing like a romantic hospital shower a deux!

No, no, no....yes.

This is productive. Right?

I'm 33 weeks today!! So to celebrate -- or maybe just because I felt like online shopping -- I went on ebay and picked up the cutest hospital bag ever.
Okay, so I didn't NEED a new duffel bag. But look how cute! It's like it was made to hold my lip balm and contraband granola bars. :) Plus, total bargain.

OMG, it's February...

...and that means Danger is due next month!! Woohoooooo!!!!!

(It also means I suck at keeping up with this blog. Oh well.)

Even though I'm feeling super-impatient about meeting the babe, it seems like the last few months flew by. Which makes me want to reminisce about the day I found out I was preggers -- July 24, 2008. (The day before Warped Tour, where I wound up dozing off for two hours in an empty box seat at the Tweeter -- hooray for first-trimester fatigue! -- which earned me a safety lecture from my niece Maddi. Since the bun in my oven was still a secret, I blamed Katy Perry's terrible set for putting me to sleep.)

Anyway, I had just turned 29 the week before, and I was having a major confidence malfunction. For starters, despite busting my ass at the gym, my muffin top just kept getting bigger. On top of that, I was broken out like a 12-year-old. But somehow, pregnancy never even crossed my mind -- mainly because I was on a mini-hiatus from my fertility meds. So I just thought I was on the accelerated path towards being a fat, unattractive cougar. But a few days later, I took an HPT so I could get back on the Clomid train. And...TWO LINES! That's when it occured to me that I was, um, 40-some days late.

G had left for work, like, three seconds before this. Waiting for him to come home was killer -- didn't help that he called on his way home and asked me to meet him at the gym. Argh. But finally, we got home and I spilled the beans en route to Sand Stand. Then we took our celebratory ice cream to Beach 1 and basically flipped out with excitement.

The best part was, when I went to the doctor, I found out I was eight weeks along -- I'd totally sidestepped the morning sickness and was already 20% of the way there :) Although I kind of felt like one of those girls on Jerry Springer who's like, "I didn't even know I was pregnant, I just thought I was real bloated!"

And now here we are, with fewer than eight weeks left to go. CAN'T WAIT!

(Thought this was a fat pic. Turns out I was knocked up. Much better!)

Britax, Barack, and bottled blonde.

So far, I'm doing a not-so-good job of keeping this updated. And I don't even have a baby to blame!

In baby-shopping news, we have a car seat! I went to Buy Buy Baby yesterday armed with a sweet coupon -- thanks Jamie and Heather! -- and picked up a Britax Roundabout. We also registered for a plain ol' infant seat, so we can transport the babe without waking him during the early days. But once Danger outgrows that (maybe when he's a week old? haha) the Britax is ON and he's going to look totally pimp in the back of our Mighty Mazda!

On the way to BBB, I listened to Barack's swearing in and speech. Woohoo! Maybe one day soon, I can start opening my 401K statements again.

And today, I went to Rizzieri and got a long-overdue cut and color. Not to brag, but it's MILFy. As I was leaving, we realized that I'll probably be bringing a baby to my next touch-up! Wow! :)

Kindred spirits.

Trolling around babycenter this morning, I came across this post...

"i have been diagnosed with sandinvaginosis, anyone else?"

...and LOL'ed so hard I nearly choked on my pizza. Luckily, it seems I've managed to escape the psycho hormones, seeing as I haven't threatened anyone's life in the past seven months. But if I were suffering from acute sandinvaginosis, here are a few people who might have triggered a major flare-up:

1) The guy at Shoprite who never lets me bag my own shit. Seriously, this guy will run from the other end of the store if he sees me lift a salsa jar. And while he's a sweet old man, he's a terrible bagger. This week he packed the raw chicken with the bread. Ew! And then scolded me for not buttoning up my coat.

2) Everyone who has any opinion in the breast vs. bottle debate. And, likewise, anyone who wants me to have an opinion in the breast vs. bottle debate.

3) The Whole Foods employee who sat down next to me and said, "I thought pregnant women couldn't eat sushi." Then he offered a few more insights into mommyhood, such as "Don't have too many kids or you'll wreak havoc on your uterus." Here's a tip: If you're going to charge $8 for a spicy shrimp roll, let me eat it in peace. I hope he talks shit about the wrong person's uterus and gets a beatdown. Just sayin'.