Trolling around babycenter this morning, I came across this post...
"i have been diagnosed with sandinvaginosis, anyone else?"
...and LOL'ed so hard I nearly choked on my pizza. Luckily, it seems I've managed to escape the psycho hormones, seeing as I haven't threatened anyone's life in the past seven months. But if I were suffering from acute sandinvaginosis, here are a few people who might have triggered a major flare-up:
1) The guy at Shoprite who never lets me bag my own shit. Seriously, this guy will run from the other end of the store if he sees me lift a salsa jar. And while he's a sweet old man, he's a terrible bagger. This week he packed the raw chicken with the bread. Ew! And then scolded me for not buttoning up my coat.
2) Everyone who has any opinion in the breast vs. bottle debate. And, likewise, anyone who wants me to have an opinion in the breast vs. bottle debate.
3) The Whole Foods employee who sat down next to me and said, "I thought pregnant women couldn't eat sushi." Then he offered a few more insights into mommyhood, such as "Don't have too many kids or you'll wreak havoc on your uterus." Here's a tip: If you're going to charge $8 for a spicy shrimp roll, let me eat it in peace. I hope he talks shit about the wrong person's uterus and gets a beatdown. Just sayin'.
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